


The Evil of Glitter

by Synapse



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: (technically it's early morning but who's counting), Author Is Sleep Deprived, Betaed, Canon Compliant, Canon Era, Crack, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Glitter, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, One Shot, POV Artemis Crock, POV First Person, Phone Conversations, Post-Season/Series 01, Pre-Season/Series 02, The Author Regrets Nothing, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000, and then it went to glitter, but still a lot, probably not as much glitter as advertised, season one- season two gap, spitfire fluff, this started with the prompt "why do you need chloroform"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:34:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26554438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synapse/pseuds/Synapse
Summary: In which Zatanna rants about a terrible neighbor, and Wally and Artemis must prove themselves against the most grim and ghastly of foes: glitter.
Relationships: Artemis Crock & Zatanna Zatara, Artemis Crock/Wally West
Kudos: 31





	The Evil of Glitter

**Author's Note:**

> Me, writing yet another fic featuring Wally West, Artemis Crock, late-night conversations, and sleepy fluff? It's more likely than you'd think! 
> 
> Literally all of my thanks and love goes to the marvelously magnificent [MashpotatoeQueen5](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MashpotatoeQueen5), who beta'd this not once but twice after I forgot it existed for three months, and gave me several truly incredible lines. This fic would've never seen the light without her. <3 <3 <3

“Why do you need chloroform?” Artemis rolls onto her stomach and presses her forehead against the armrest of the couch, repositioning the cell phone. She glances at the dimly lit clock. “At two in the morning?” 

“Because,” Zatanna whispers, ”the guy in the room next door just won’t shut _up_. It’s been three hours, Artemis! Three. _Hours_.” 

“You lived in the Mountain for three _years_ , Zee. I thought you’d be used to a little noise by now.” 

“I cast dampening spells, you know that. But I’m undercover in the middle of Kansas, and the guy I’m tracking can sense magic from a mile away. It’s not really an option this time.” 

Brucely snuffles on the rug beside her. Artemis reaches down to rub his fuzzy head, and he gives a happy little snore. “Yeah, okay. But chloroform takes forever to work, and it doesn’t even last all that long. You’d be better off with a chokehold.”

“I don’t trust myself not to kill him with a chokehold.” 

She snorts. “Yeah, killing him would be bad. It would definitely get you kicked out of the League.” 

Close by, there’s a startled, choked-off laugh. Wally, just stepping into the kitchen, is shooting her an amused and slightly concerned expression. Artemis raises an eyebrow at him. 

He, of all people, has no right to call her out on weird conversations. Not when he’s best friends with _Dick_ , who takes an inane joy in introducing odd philosophical questions at any given time of day and has a fondness for late-night calls featuring lengthy retellings of his latest adventures with the more ridiculous of Gotham’s rogues. 

Polka-Dot Man. Penny Plunderer. Crazy Quilt. Calendar Man.

_Seriously_.

Another look at Wally has her deciding that he’s _especially_ not allowed any opinions on strangeness until he looks less like an outlandish Mad Hatter. He’s wearing his leggings (he insists they’re pants, but they’re skintight and basically reinforced Spandex: she knows a pair of leggings when she sees them) from his uniform paired with baby blue slippers. The sleeves of _her_ worn purple bathrobe sit several inches above his wrists. There’s confetti caught in the copper tangles of his hair, and a dusting of neon green and pink paint clings to his legs.

It looks like he barfed up a rainbow and then took a shower in sequins while riding a particularly unruly unicorn. In short, he looks ridiculous. 

_You look ridiculous_ , she mouths as Zatanna’s bedsprings creak on the other end.

Wally puts a hand to his chest, feigning affront. “You don’t look much like a fairy princess yourself, beautiful.” His gaze drifts upwards, and he snorts. “Except for your hair.”

Groaning, she runs a hand through her mess of tangles. Her fingers come away with glitter stuck to them. She’d done her best to brush it out before they returned to their apartment, but experience tells her they’ll be finding the stuff for the rest of the year. 

Dread plagues her thoughts of her inevitable shower. It’s going to look like they held a five-year-old’s surprise birthday party in their bathroom. 

The phone crackles. “Artemis?” 

His grin tilts affectionately at her as she sticks her tongue out at him. “Yeah, Zatanna?” 

“Please tell me your crazy mercenary training included a section on how to shut people up telepathically.” 

“That’s M’gann’s specialty, not mine. Have you tried earplugs?” 

“Uh, no. Where would I get those?”

“They’re everywhere, Zee. Even Kansas has to have twenty-four-hour drugstores.” 

Wally waves from the freezer. “We do.” 

“You’re from Missouri," Artemis says.

“Kansas is right across the river! It counts!” 

Zatanna’s laugh is muffled, probably into a pillow. “Wally’s saying they’re in Kansas, isn’t he?” 

“Yep, my boyfriend’s a hundred percent certified country bumpkin-” 

“Central’s on par with Chicago and _you know it-_ ” 

“-and even they have drug stores open all night. Problem solved.” 

“Yeah, but I’m in my pajamas. In bed. A soft, warm, _cozy_ bed.” 

“Lazy,” she teases.

“ _Artyyy_. I’m comfortable!” 

“Then you’ll have to wait until he’s finished. Or use a pillow like a normal person.” 

“I tried the pillow, Artemis, and y’know what? All those movies we watched? They were _lying_.” 

“Hey, I have to put up with Kid Loudmouth snoring all night,” she says. An affronted noise comes from the kitchen. “At least you don’t have to deal with that.” 

Wally’s voice rises in pitch from where he’s silhouetted in the kitchen light. “I do _not_ snore-” 

Zatanna is a little too gleeful when she says, “Seriously? He does?” 

“Really. He’s worse than Wolf.” 

“I do not! If either of us snores it’s you-” 

He may be right, at least in that he doesn’t snore. But Artemis has no shame, and their friends know by now that trusting either of them about this sort of thing is hit-or-miss at best. 

“Speaking of your human disaster boyfriend,” Zatanna says, barely audible over the thud of the freezer door closing. “How’d your mission go?” 

“Not bad, actually.” Artemis watches as Wally comes over with a bowl of ice cream in hand, moving to the end of the couch and out of her line of sight. She knows what he’s about to do anyway. When he tries to move her legs out of the way at super-speed, she shoves her feet into his side. He grunts. “We took out Toyman while Superman was dealing with Parasite in Metropolis. Simple stuff, if you don’t count the sparkles and paint bombs.”

“Of course you get the easy ones.” 

“We’re in college, remember? Try Toyman, a six-page essay due in two days, and _glitter_.” Wally’s hand brushes over her calf again. She kicks him, then twists around to look at him when he grumbles good-naturedly. _Ice cream_ , she mouths, and he sticks his lower lip out in a mock-pout before heading back to the kitchen. Brucely huffs happily in his sleep as she scratches behind his ears.

Zatanna sighs dramatically. “You try a full week of being undercover without any magic.”

The light turns off in the kitchen. Wally returns with a full dish of mint chip, doused in hot fudge, and puts it on the coffee table. She gives him a thankful thumbs-up. He flops down beside her as she coaxes her sore limbs into a sitting position. Wedging the phone between her shoulder and her ear, she grabs the bowl and digs in. 

“You’ve spoiled yourself,” she teases between bites.

Zatanna snorts, then pauses, voice dropping lower. Even with the volume on her phone maxed out, Artemis can barely hear her. “Wait. Now it’s getting juicy.” 

“What is?”

“The guy next door. Be quiet for a second, okay?” 

There’s a rustle on the other end. Bedsprings creak and Zatanna mutters under her breath, something about cases and coincidences. Curiosity piqued, Artemis has to resist the urge to ask what’s going on. 

She picks at the paint flecks on her shirt in between sweet minty spoonfuls, tucking her feet up under her and leaning into Wally. He presses against her and pulls a blanket up over their laps. 

A spoon invades her bowl and she slaps it away, digging her elbow into his side. He grumbles, speeds off to get another bowl of rocky road, and returns in ten seconds flat. 

“What’s going on with Zatanna?” he asks, and she moves the receiver away from her mouth. 

“There’s a guy talking nonstop in the hotel room next door. She thinks it might be connected to her case.”

“At-” he checks the clock- “two in the morning?” 

“We’re up at two in the morning.” 

“We’re vigilantes. And college students. It’s kind of part of the job.” 

“Evil never sleeps, remember? And there are other reasons. Didn’t you call me at three because you saw a spider-” He elbows her, and she breaks off with a laugh.

“You swore you’d never talk about that,” he whines. She smirks at him. His eyebrows raise, lips turning up in a challenging grin. “Sure, but what about that time you texted me crying about _The Fault in Our_ -” 

“Artemis, I’ve gotta go.” 

Zatanna’s sudden change in volume is so loud that Brucely snorts himself awake and looks up at them with a betrayed expression. Artemis yanks the phone away from her ear, wincing, and she and Wally straighten instinctively. 

“Is something wrong?” she asks as she lowers the volume.

“I’m fine, but coincidence is a bitch. This guy might be a new lead. I’ll call you later!” Her phone beeps as Zatanna hangs up.

Wally looks at her as he soothes Brucely with a pat on the head. “What was that about?”

“I... have no idea.”

He stares at her for a moment. She gazes back. There’s a smear of chocolate on his cheek, barely visible in the faint glow of the lamp. It’s nearly indistinguishable against his faded freckles. 

“You’ve got glitter on your shirt,” he says. 

“And you have it in your ears.” She groans. “We’re going to be finding it on everything. For months.” 

“No kidding. I just washed my boots-” 

They keep grumbling as they finish their ice cream. Artemis savors each bite, taking her time. Even if her skin’s tacky with sweat and paint flecks, bathing just sounds like too much effort. 

Her boyfriend’s spoon clinks against his empty bowl. Brucely pricks his ears at the noise. “We should probably shower.” 

“Probably,” she agrees, then pauses as an idea strikes. Slowly, lazily, she suggests,”It’d be faster if we shared.” 

His eyes flick toward her, surprised, then intrigued. “Yeah, babe?” 

The floor is chilly under her bare feet as she stands, and a shiver runs through her as she takes the dishes to the sink. They’ll wash them tomorrow. “Mmhm.” 

“Like…” 

“Don’t get too many ideas. We need to get the glitter out of our hair.” 

Wally moans theatrically from the hall. “Fine. But it’s going to take forever if we don’t get going. Especially with yours.” 

“This coming from the guy who moves at the speed of sound?” she teases, grabbing a dog biscuit from the jar and giving it to Brucely before following Wally- who’s still in her stolen bathrobe- to the bathroom.

He’s right. It does take ages to get the glitter out of her hair. The water runs cold long before they’re done. Confetti doesn’t like coming out of messy speedster scruff, either, and once they’re out they have to check for bruises and cuts and scrub the paint and blood from their uniforms before it can stain. Artemis has to comb out the tangles of her own rat’s nest, and he needs to put Brucely out. It’s a lengthy mess, even with his speed. By the time all’s said and done it’s close to four and the birds are chirping outside.

“Christ,” Wally says, flopping onto the bed. It creaks as she flings herself down beside him. “I take back everything I said about Toyman being an easy villain.” 

“No kidding,” she says, dropping her head onto the pillow and tugging the blankets closer. He reaches for her, one arm wrapping over her side. Wriggling closer into his embrace, she closes her eyes. “We’re banning glitter. From everything.” 

His fingers brush against her forehead, and she opens her eyes just in time to catch him pulling a single shimmering piece of pink out of her hair. 

“Dammit,” she mumbles.

Wally’s eyes crinkle in amusement, then slip shut. “Night, beautiful. Love you.” 

“Love you more,” she sighs back. 

She knows it’s only a brief respite. There are essays to be done, reports to write, speeches to give. Zatanna will call in the morning, maybe to ask for a meet up over lunch to tell the success story of her mission, or perhaps to rant about another failed lead. There’s a morning run to take before the muggy Californian heat sets in. Brucely will need his walk, his slobbery kisses and heavy paws easily the most effective alarm they’ve ever had. 

But though the birds sing bright and the future clamors to be heard, the siren song of sleep is louder. Artemis curls into Wally’s warmth, her legs pressing against his. His breath smells like mint toothpaste, warming her freshly scrubbed skin. 

She sinks into the feeling of home, and it carries her away into the safety of darkness.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic came into existence almost entirely thanks to the passage about Wally covered in sparkles. Since then, it's gone through not one, not two, but THREE rewrites. The things my writing exercises turn into...
> 
> Did you know that Young Justice does not, in fact, have a Keystone City? Because it doesn't! It only has Central City! Hence the reason why Wally (probably) grew up in Missouri rather than Kansas. Am I salty about this? Possibly! 
> 
> Before anyone asks, Condiment Man isn't referenced for the sole reason that his appearance in season three implies he hasn't shown up before. This is one part of canon I'm unwilling to desecrate, because by gods, that cameo was gold. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Comments are always welcome <3


End file.
